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Pwease Pway Wif Meeeee! - Lonely Little Mommy's Midget Rudy Canoza - Narcissists Are Lonely Little Creatures | HuffPost Life ----- Bonus: Why Rudy Hates Trump
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AlleyCat
2021-12-03 03:24:46 UTC
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Why Rudy Hates Trump

Because they are too much alike, and everyone knows, people hate those they see
too much of themselves in.

=====

Narcissists Are Lonely Little Creatures

By Science of Us, Contributor

"Science of Us" is a smart but playful window into the latest science on human
behavior.

09/29/2016 06:11pm EDT | Updated October 2, 2016

By Drake Baer

The presidential rise of Donald Trump has thrust Wendy Behary's field into the
national spotlight: She's the author of "Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving
and Thriving With the Self-Absorbed," as well as the founder of the Cognitive
Therapy Center of New Jersey. She notes that while it's dangerous to diagnose
at a distance, Trump's blustery need for dominance smacks of self-absorption.
Like Science of Us reported back in March, "Trump Is a Near-Perfect Example of
Needy Narcissism."

Everybody knows a Trumply personality: a blowhard, a conversational demagogue,
a constant, forceful center of attention. But, as Behary warned me over the
phone yesterday, if you want to defend yourself from the narcissist at work, or
at Christmas, you need to grasp why they are narcissistic. Behary is trained in
Schema Therapy, which endeavors to understand schemas: toxic emotional and
behavioral patterns that start in childhood, and continue throughout life if
they're left unchecked, colored by beliefs, thoughts, and themes about how the
world operates. Indeed, for the narcissist, their narcissism is a survival
skill that helped them escape childhood, an adjustment that becomes maladaptive
in adult life.

"We all start out as little people," Behary says. "We all meet an environment,
we're all helpless." The perspective of schema therapy is to look at the needs
that weren't met, and see how personality forms around those traumas and unmet
needs, like a pearl forms around a grain of sand. A narcissist may have been
raised by abusive parents, overly pressured to not just achieve but be the
best, or serve as a sort of showpiece for the family. One authority figure may
say nothing is good enough, another that everything they do is perfect. They're
often taught that even having needs for support, love, praise, guidance,
discipline, and limits are weaknesses, things to be ashamed of. Because of
this, Behary says, narcissists can develop a crusty outer shell. She often
hears confessions like I just learned not to need anyone, I don't need people
from the clients that come into her practice. "They're walled off against their
own human needs," she says. "My classic line is, 'It's not your fault you're
like this, but it is your responsibility at 45 or 50 to learn how to undo this,
if you want to spare your relationships, keep your job intact.'"

The small person inside a big personality is a lonely child that felt
unlovable, that grew up laden with demands for performance. There's often
awkwardness in social interactions, which itself leads to bullying, and in
adulthood, repeatedly pushing intimate connection away. "They don't really have
friends," she says, "They don't really have friends, they have followers."
Because of their childhoods, they develop obsessive standards, where everything
has to be the best - how else could they win the approval of Mom or Dad? They
develop compulsive behaviors to keep themselves distracted and stimulated. At
the bottom of it all is a sense of defectiveness and shame, she says, stemming
from "having been made to feel weak for wanting love and affection." Because of
their early experiences, they learn that they can't count on other people to
meet their needs, and to compensate for that, a sort pathological self-reliance
takes root. "The narcissist will work very hard to become super capable, super
autonomous, so they won't be beholden to anyone, and they won't need anyone,"
she says.

In adult life, that means they act "supremely entitled" to do what they want
and have what they want, make the rules and break them as they see fit, she
says. As their families grow up, they may find new problems: Their spouse reads
some books or gets some therapy, and takes a healthier stance in their
relationship dynamic. The kids come of age, and they no longer have to put up
with their neglect, demands, or criticism. Spouses divorce, children estrange.
Again, the narcissist is alone. "The loneliness, the emptiness, the sense of
unlovability, the isolation continues," she says.

It's only when a narcissist has reached a breaking point like that, Behary
says, that they might find the right help; not just any therapist, but someone
experienced with narcissism. It's not necessary that that point is even
reached, though: The world outwardly rewards narcissists, in many ways; they're
charming, manipulative, and goal-oriented, they go on more dates and become
titans of industry. But while they may control everything around them, they are
yet to accept themselves. "Underneath all the noise is insecurity," she says.
AlleyCat
2021-12-03 03:24:48 UTC
Permalink
When The Narcissist Is Left Alone

Anne McCrea

Have you ever dealt with a narcissist and their abuse? Have you ever
encountered for yourself, how a narcissist behaves when they are left alone?

I have a strong belief that people who treat others poorly and have no empathy
or compassion for others, will be shown no compassion in later life when their
looks are gone and all that is left is an empty shell.

We are always told to look on the inside, look at how someone treats others,
look at their heart, and look at their soul. What's on the outside doesn't
really matter. It's the inside that counts. What's on the inside of a
narcissist? Nothing, zero, zilch.

They have spent their entire lives abusing others, knowing what they do and
without a second thought for the pain that they inflict on others time and time
again.

The narcissist is an immature, angry, volatile, and controlling individual.
They spend their lives attempting to form relationships. Sadly, it's not a
partnership they are seeking but a dictatorship where they have all the power
and control. Eventually, people get sick and tired of their behavior and
abandon them.

A string of failed relationships adds to their already fragile self-ego. By
bringing about their own abandonment as a result of their abusive and
despicable behavior, they inflict upon themselves, a deep narcissistic injury.
Somehow the narcissist will delude themselves into believing that their own
self-destruction is someone else's fault.

Much like a drug addict without their supply, the narcissist can't cope when
supplies become scarce and run out.

Want to know more about how a narcissist behaves when left alone? Read The
Aging Narcissist

They become chronically depressed and angry and find no pleasure in anything.
Things that they used to enjoy, no longer hold their interest. Their world has
become hostile, their social life, non-existent. No one wants to be in their
company for any length of time. They often become a hermit, closed off from the
outside world blaming everyone else for the situation that they find themselves
in. The longer the lack of supply continues, the worse their insecurities and
paranoia become.

The narcissist clings desperately to nothing. They may create fake profiles on
social media in order to stalk people, people that they may never meet or talk
to.

Surfing the Internet may give them the opportunity to get a little attention
from someone, from anyone. They've lost faith in themselves. They don't like
themselves and nobody else likes them either so they think, 'What's the point
in being nice?'

Life gives back to them exactly what they deserve, loneliness, and isolation.
Those who once cared are long gone.

The one thing that they never could control is time. As they move forward to
eternity they have the knowledge that there is a final Judge and this time,
it's not them.

Written by Anne McCrea
Originally appeared on Narcissist and Emotional Abuse
Printed with prior permission.

Narcissists only care about themselves, and all those things that only benefit
them. Putting someone else first and prioritizing them is something a
narcissist can never think of doing. So, when everyone leaves them, they become
all alone and loneliness slowly starts to eat away at them.

If you want to know more about when a narcissist is left alone, then check this
video out below:
AlleyCat
2021-12-03 03:24:50 UTC
Permalink
Narcissism: Inside the Lonely, Envious World of the 'Perfect Ones'

March 13, 2013

By Lynn Somerstein, PhD, RYT, Object Relations Topic Expert Contributor

Man admiring himself in mirror

Most of the time when we talk about narcissism we're thinking about the other
kind... the bad kind, where the person thinks he or she is perfect in every
way; you are just the opposite, a total loser, and the "Perfect One" is an
expert at making sure you feel that way. Now, I'm not saying this is a plot,
something done on purpose. It can be unconscious, but that doesn't make it
easier to live with.

Everyone knows a Perfect One, and might even admire the person a little.
Perfect Ones are always in the know, or seem to be, but what they know best is
how to take the bad feelings they have about themselves and shovel them onto
whoever is around and ready to accept them. They lower your feelings about
yourself so they can feel better. Putting you down raises them up. And if
you're lacking in self-confidence, you're their perfect companion.

Could that be you? If you're self-confident and aware of your abilities, taking
credit when it's coming to you should be a pleasure. But if you lack self-
confidence, accepting a compliment can be pretty hard. Instead of feeling good,
you may even feel ashamed. How come? And can you do anything about it? If you
sometimes react with feelings of discomfort or shame when you've done something
really well and been told about it, you may be responding to early feelings of
worthlessness that were part of faulty family situations. Maybe your parents
lacked self-esteem, too, and passed that on to you, or maybe you're related to
a Perfect One who trained you to be his or her audience, or perhaps you endured
bullying in school. Perfect Ones make good bullies.

It could be that when you were a kid you were subjected to the envious feelings
of others, so every time someone tells you something good about yourself you
don't believe it, or you expect something bad to happen, because that's how
you've been trained, so you'd rather put the spotlight on someone else, and who
better than a Perfect One? Perfect Ones expect all compliments to come their
way. If this applies to you, try to figure out who around you might be part of
the problem. You can talk to them about it, but-even better-you can talk to
yourself about it, remembering that what Perfect Ones are saying has more to do
with their own feelings about themselves than about you. In fact, if you listen
to the negative things they say, you'll learn a lot about their secret,
shameful feelings about themselves, proving that, deep down, they know they're
not really perfect after all.

Shame and narcissism are fellow travelers, a continuum of feelings about the
self. Picture a seesaw with shame on the bottom and narcissism on the top. Envy
accompanies the up-and-down actions of the seesaw. Perfect Ones feel envy all
the time, and process that feeling by making others feel envious so Perfect One
can feel superior. Perfect Ones' feelings of superiority go with the
expectation that they are better than everybody else and deserve favorable
treatment in the world. They use others to get what they want, they believe
they have it coming, and when they don't get what they think they deserve they
react with intense anger, called narcissistic rage. Perfect Ones don't see
others as equals; they see others as tools. Their internal feelings about
themselves are unsteady, and they have to work hard to keep feeling good.

We've been talking about a make-believe person called Perfect One. The use of
the word "one" is important here. Think ONE. A universe of one, where Perfect
Ones want YOU to love THEM, but they are not capable of loving you or anyone
else back. It's a pretty cold world when you are the only Perfect One. If
you've spent any time with Perfect Ones, you may have felt very lonely. Inside,
the Perfect Ones feel lonely too, because no one is good enough to share their
world. You might feel sorry for them, but don't let the Perfect Ones take
advantage of your ability to feel for others. Perfect Ones are expert
manipulators.

After you have learned the game and how it's played, you can stop playing with
Perfect Ones and find humans who aren't perfect but play fair. You'll have a
better time all around.

Remember my image of the seesaw? Perfect One on top? Well, Perfect One will
fall down with a thud when you get off the seesaw. And then you can get back on
and come to a good balance with someone else.
AlleyCat
2021-12-03 03:24:51 UTC
Permalink
8 Life Setbacks and Failures of Narcissists

8 common life crises of narcissists.

Posted April 23, 2017 | Reviewed by Kaja Perina

"That's enough of me talking about myself - let's hear you talk about me!"
- Anonymous narcissist

"It's not easy being superior to everyone I know!"
- Anonymous narcissist

Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to
others and have little regard for other people's feelings. But behind this mask
of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest
criticism." Here are eleven common narcissistic traits, with excerpts from my
books: "How to Successfully Handle Narcissists" and "A Practical Guide for
Narcissists to Change Towards the Higher Self".

Conversation Hoarder - Narcissists love to hear themselves talk, or hear others
talk about them. They relish being the center of attention.

Conversation Interrupter - Many narcissists like to interrupt and switch the
focus of communication to him or herself. He or she shows little genuine
interest in you.

Rule Breaker - Enjoys getting away with violating rules and social norms, such
as cutting in line, chronic under-tipping, or disobeying traffic laws.

"I take pride in persuading people to give me exceptions to their rules."
- Anonymous narcissist

Boundary Violator - Shows wanton disregard for other people's thoughts,
feelings, time, possessions, and physical space.

False Image Projection - Likes to do things to impress others by making
themselves look good externally.

"My accomplishments are everything."
- Anonymous executive

"What my mother displays in public and how she really is are very different."
- Anonymous

Entitlement - Expects preferential treatment from others. Require others to
cater (often instantly) to their needs, without being considerate in return. In
their mindset, the world revolves around them.

"You're sick? What about driving me to the mall?"
- Anonymous narcissist

Charmer - Narcissists can be very engaging and sociable, as long as you're
fulfilling what they desire, and giving them all of your attention.

Grandiose Personality - Some narcissists have an exaggerated sense of self-
importance, thinking of oneself as a hero or heroine, a prince or princess, or
one of a kind special person.

"Once again I saved the day - without me they're nothing!"
- Anonymous narcissist

Superior/Inferior Orientation - Unable to relate to individuals as equals.
Narcissists either take an inferior position and defer to you, or a superior
position and presume that they're in some ways better than you. Both the
superior and inferior postures are calculated to sway you to give them what
they want - such is the purpose of relationships to them.

Negative Emotions - Many narcissists enjoy spreading and arousing negative
emotions to gain attention, feel powerful, and keep you insecure and off-
balance.

"Some people try to be tall by cutting off the heads of others."
- Paramhansa Yogananda

Manipulation: Use Others as Extension of Self - Narcissists often make
decisions for others to suit their own needs. The narcissist may use his or her
romantic partner, child, friend, or colleague to meet unreasonable self-serving
needs, fulfill unrealized dreams, or cover up self-perceived inadequacies and
flaws.

Many narcissists are oblivious to their negative and often self-destructive
behavioral patterns, which typically result in them experiencing life lessons
the hard way. Below are eight common life setbacks and failures of narcissists.
Negative consequence as the result of chronic narcissism may include one or
more of the following:

1. Family Estrangement - Multiple studies have examined the relationship
between narcissism and difficult family relationships.

2. Divorce - Research has also shown the tremendous negative impact narcissism
has on romantic relationships and marriages.

3. Relationship Cut-Offs - Since narcissists "use" rather than "relate", they
tend to leave many broken relationships behind. Narcissists also experience
relationship dissolution from others feeling let down, disappointed, lied to,
used, manipulated, violated, exploited, betrayed, ripped-off, demeaned,
invalidated, or ignored.

4. Loneliness and Isolation - Due to the first three factors described above,
most narcissists have few, if any healthy, close and lasting relationships.
Some higher-functioning narcissists achieve external success in life - at the
expense of others - and find themselves lonely at the top.

5. Missed Opportunities - From a lack of true substance and/or lack of
connectedness.

6. Financial, Career, or Legal Trouble - From rule breaking, gross
irresponsibility, careless indulgence, or other indiscretions.

7. Damaged Reputation - From personal and/or professional lack of credibility.

8. Deep-Seated Fear of Rejection / Being Unimportant - Many narcissists are
easily upset at any real or perceived slights or inattentiveness. They are
constantly hounded by the insecurity that people may not see them as the
privileged, powerful, popular, or "special" individuals they make themselves to
be. Deep down, many narcissists feel like the "ugly duckling", even if they
painfully don't want to admit it.

Can a narcissist change for the better? Perhaps. But only if he or she is
highly aware, and willing to go through the courageous process of self-
discovery. For narcissists no longer willing to play the charade at the cost of
genuine relationships and credibility, there are ways to liberate from
falsehood, and progressively move toward one's Higher Self.
AlleyCat
2021-12-03 03:24:53 UTC
Permalink
4 Reasons Why Narcissists Are Basically Unhappy People

Personality > Dark Personalities

Post author: Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)

Post published: May 29, 2017

Post category: Dark Personalities / Personality

A narcissist is a person that has an over grandiose sense of self. Narcissists
also tend to be unhappy people and there are some good reasons why.

They believe they are put on this earth to be admired, revered, adored and that
the world revolves around them. With so much self-esteem you would imagine that
they would live their lives in a state of perpetual happiness, but this is not
so.

When a narcissist's needs are being met, when they are made to feel unique,
special and extraordinary, they are blissfully happy. The problem is that when
their egos are not being continually stroked, they become resentful, angry and
dissatisfied with their lot in life.
These examples show what would make a narcissist unhappy:

They are not flattered anymore
They are criticized
They are ignored by those of a higher status
They are treated the same as everyone else
They are not the centre of attention
Their advice is not listened to
Other people given the spotlight
They are questioned about the veracity of their stories
They are laughed at in company

The things that make narcissists deeply unhappy people is that all their
happiness comes from external forces: they rely on flattery, on their looks,
their accomplishments, their possessions, and so on. So if any one of these
factors was to prove to be less than special or amazing, their whole world
would collapse around them.

Here are the reasons why narcissists are basically unhappy people:
They base their happiness on external factors

This is the main problem with narcissists, everything they associate with
happiness is related to outside influences or factors. It could be material
things like having the best car in the neighborhood, getting the best promotion
from all their colleagues, or simply having the most attractive wife.

They want to be admired for these external reasons, but the problem with that
is their self-esteem is bound up with outside influences and does not come from
their own self-confidence. If any one of these things is lost or disappears,
then the narcissist quickly has to start from scratch to build up their esteem
again.
When they are alone

Narcissists need a constant stream of attention and suffer when they are on
their own as their sources of flattery dry up. A narcissist uses other people
as a mirror to reflect back to themselves their uniqueness and if they are
alone they cannot do this.

When they receive the admiration from someone else, they are instantly
gratified and are happy, but being alone makes them delve into their own psyche
where they might come face to face with the person behind the mask.
They desire perfection and cannot live up to it

In a narcissist's world, everything would be perfect, but in reality, this can
never happen. The narcissist spends their entire lifetime striving for
perfection in themselves and the things they surround themselves with. But even
to outsiders who would judge them and their lifestyle as pretty amazing, to the
narcissist, it is never quite enough. This is one of the basic reasons why
narcissists are basically unhappy people.
They are never happy with what they have got

Narcissists have to be the best, have the best and be regarded as the best. To
this end, they are destined for a fall. A narcissist may be a stunningly
gorgeous young woman, but that will not stop her from striving for better
looks. Because narcissists believe they are special people, they think they
should have everything laid out for them, and even if they do, they are still
not happy.
So what makes a narcissist happy?

A typical narcissist wants to be the centre of attention and be admired by all
those around them. They desire flattery and adoration from their peer group, in
particular, those of a high status group, and want to be at the top of that
hierarchy.

They enjoy this 'top dog' status as it cements their ego and helps to boost
their self-esteem. Being at the top, whether it be the most beautiful,
successful, and famous, powerful, financial or intelligent feeds into their
notion of an over-indulged sense of self.
To conclude:

The happiness of a typical narcissist would appear to lie with what other
people have to say about them. To a narcissist, the only true way to happiness
is to be admired for their high status. Unfortunately, this is rarely
sustainable and the narcissist soon finds this situation untenable and moves on
to find other people in which to mirror their success.

References:

https://www.quora.com
https://www.psychologytoday.com
AlleyCat
2021-12-03 03:24:56 UTC
Permalink
Do Narcissists Tend To Be Lonely Even When They Are Around People?

Chaplain Tanya L Hawkins
Oct 11

Yes Narcissists are lonely 24/7 that is why they need Empathic, Loving,
Compassionate Beings around them. They hate their true selves. They are
literally "empty shells who have purged love out of their heart" (this a direct
quote from several Narcissist). They cannot take the silence.

They are fearful of being alone because condemning voices and thoughts run
through their head. They hate their true selves. They are constantly exhausted
from trying to maintain the various personalities.

Thus, they need constantly stimulation and affirmation. They do not have the
emotional, spiritual or cognitive ability to connect with other people. They
feed on the gifts, love and qualities of good and loving people. Truthfully,
the Narcissistic Abuse comes from a place of Rage that their victims can feel
Love, Joy, Appreciation etc. And they cannot. No person can connect with what
they hate and envy.

=====

Nalla Azizi
Oct 11

I think their inner emptiness can be the cause of their loneliness.. As
children , their emotional need was never met , so this emptiness was not only
created but kept on growing throughout the years leaving a negative effect on
many aspects of their lives. So to get back to the question , yea narcs do feel
lonely , even when they are surrounded by people cause the feeling of emptiness
was not just literally empty but like a powerful force ,it occupied their whole
mind, their thoughts ,their actions and like a dark shadow it kept on haunting
them and they kept on avoiding it by many defenses just to survive them all.

=====

SF Swift
Old friend and ex both narcissists. Went NC with both.

Oct 11

They are always lonely. That's why they tend to surround themselves with
people, especially when younger, and many can't stand being alone.
AlleyCat
2021-12-03 03:24:57 UTC
Permalink
Do Narcissists Feel Lonely Deep Down Inside?

Tom Ewall, M.S. Mathematics, University of Iowa (1984)

The way you phrased it, I would say no, not deep down inside. Deep down inside
they feel shame. Their disorder is all about dealing with their shame.

The narcissist I know best complains about not having any close to her, which
is true, because she destroys all the close relationships she has. Once people
get to know her, they don't want to have anything to do with her. That makes
her feel bad, but she uses it as an opportunity to make a play for sympathy,
which she does on Facebook.

I'd say she feels more empty than lonely. She has lots of friends, just not
close friends.

=====

Mark Maginn, Left-Eye-Eye-Blind (2012-present)

Mostly, they are terrified of the sudden breakdown & break up of their
personalities, psyche or the dissolution of the self. Extraordinarily
frightening out come of being subjected to constant humiliation and shaming by
a parent.

Some narcissistic personality disordered people collapse into a self derogatory
depression while others develop the more destructive grandiose position to hide
and expunge the underlying effects of the humiliation and constant shame and
fear of being discovered as the phony they think they are.

=====

Tami McConnell

I don't think they feel "lonely " in the sense that you or I do. When we feel
"lonely" it's the lack of human connection, not just lack of physical presence
of another person. Most of us would pass up "company of a jackass", and deal
with feeling a bit lonely instead. By comparison, the narcissist would take
"company of a jackass" as this would both entertain them as, well as provide
them an audience and relieve that perpetual state of boredom (at least for the
extremely short term).

What I've learned from my experience is that the narcissists very warped
perceptions are really very incomprehensible for most people. We don't think or
feel the way that a narcissist does.... And all of the "definitions" we
comprehend for these different emotional states such as "loneliness", do not
apply in the same way to the narcissist. They don't bond, so the total
experience of life is very different for them.
AlleyCat
2021-12-03 03:24:59 UTC
Permalink
Are Narcissists Lonely? - Yes, But They'll Never Admit It

Loneliness is one of society's biggest enemies, and none of us are exempt from
it, not even the most devilish of narcissists out there. In fact, throughout
the Coronavirus pandemic, 36% of Americans claimed that they have never felt
lonelier, which sets a scary benchmark for the wider population. Now, lots of
us would no doubt immediately assume that narcissists are too independent and
strong-willed to feel lonely, however, the truth is they are often the biggest
victims of this phenomenon, yet simply have trouble expressing their inner
malaise.
Contents:

4 Reasons why they feel so alienated
Editor's opinion - It will only ever end in tears

Spending time alone is arguably healthy and beneficial for our mental health,
but, regularly feeling lonely, on the other hand, can be very detrimental to
our social and communication skills. When it comes to narcissists, they have a
reputation for feeling superior, which means that they will do anything they
deem necessary in order for people to admire them and never openly talk about
their alleged 'weaknesses'. Plus, they believe that being open about their
feelings and admitting to feeling alone and misunderstood, will make them
appear weak, which is why they often choose to flee their emotions. For them,
remaining in the dark about what they feel this a way of saving face, although,
in reality, they are crying out to be loved and to build connections, yet too
proud and afraid to recognize their needs.


4 Reasons why narcissists are lonely

Harsh but true...

1) They are unable to connect with people

These folks arguably lack empathy, which means they have no time for heartfelt
discussions, and even less time for genuine connections. They fail to see why
having friends and being able to confide in people are important.


2) Their personalities intimidate people

Whilst people with narcissistic personality disorders can be charming at
points, their bullish and manipulative behavior always shine through
eventually. That's right, the prospect of becoming friends with someone so
devious understandably scares people.


3) They have their walls up

Letting people in is definitely a narcissist's worst nightmare! It's just not
in their nature to make themselves appear vulnerable and let people into their
lives. For them, opening up to someone is a synonym of them relinquishing their
power and losing the upper hand.


4) They are scared to put themselves out there

Despite the facade they hide behind, narcissists are very insecure people and
are constantly scared of judgment. Their fear of being judged prevents them
from creating a solid support base around them, and paradoxically encourages
them to become more devious.

Editor's opinion - Expressing their feelings is impossible for them
We all have certain struggles when it comes to talking about how we feel, but a
narcissist's inability to express what they are going through is definitely
more penalizing for them than for anyone else. These personalities are lonely,
yet their innate traits prevent them for breaking the cycle of loneliness, and
also dissuades others from attempting to pull them out of their misery.
AlleyCat
2021-12-03 03:24:59 UTC
Permalink
Big Sissy Rudy: How and Why Narcissists Get Worse with Age

By Julie L Hall

on September 26, 2017 1:18 pm

Why does it seem that narcissists get worse with age?

Aging is hard. Losing our vitality and facing our mortality can be scary and
painful. But we discover upsides, like reaping the fruits of our personal and
professional labors, recognizing our core values and releasing shallow
pursuits, and enjoying long-term connections with family and friends. But for
the narcissistic personality, gratitude is difficult and aging tends to
heighten feelings of vulnerability, fear, and rage.

Bitterness

Instead of maturing, mellowing, and gaining wisdom, narcissists, unless helped
with treatment (which is unusual), remain emotionally stunted children whose
deficient empathy and self-centered neediness intensify with aging. They view
growing old as a series of ravaging defeats that they struggle against with
denial and resentment or submit to with depressed resignation.

Having relied heavily on externalities such as their looks, wealth, fame,
connections, or professional achievements to fortify their fragile self-esteem,
older narcissists find themselves increasingly stripped of their defenses and
diminished in their ability to charm, impress, bully, manipulate, and otherwise
control others. Since narcissists nearly always refuse to take responsibility
for their actions or circumstances, they grow bitter and feel victimized by
life, blaming others for their disappointments.

Going to Extremes

Narcissists tend to age into extreme versions of their worst selves. And when
dementia comes into the picture, it often exacerbates matters. As narcissists
get worse with age, they become more desperate, deluded, isolated, paranoid,
defensive, bitter, angry, rigid, mean, and abusive.

Isolation

Because of narcissists' lack of compassion and their antagonism, as they age
their relationships and friendships often falter or fail, leaving them lonely
and isolated:

Spouses may have left or withdrawn to avoid their criticism and combativeness.
Adult children may have pulled away or cut contact altogether because of their
toxic influence.

Their grandchildren may be estranged from them because their adult children
have asserted boundaries to protect their families.

Friends may have pulled away because of their unmasked arrogance, selfishness,
and envy.

Neighbors and other community members may have rejected them because of their
callous behavior and rude assertions of superiority and entitlement.
Extended family may have excluded them because of their divisiveness.

Bigotry

As their personal power fades and their social sphere narrows, narcissists are
more likely to look for scapegoats anywhere they can.

Their increasingly desperate grandiose delusions often bring out bigotry and
assertions of superiority over marginalized people, including other old people.

Aging narcissists often express ageism, sexism, racism, and homophobia to
bolster themselves against their feelings of lost power over others.

**FAGGOT!**

"Fixed your lie, you you no-fight faggot." - Rudy

"Thanks for kicking my faggot ass." - Rudy

"'Self' is redundant, you toothless squat-to-piss no-fight faggot. - Rudy

"I've beaten *you* to a bloody pulp, you squat-to-piss *no-fight* faggot -
every fucking time. You're a zero, as every, stale, squat-to-piss *no-fight*
faggot who incessantly bleats about "mommy's basement" *ALWAYS* is." - Rudy

"... you you no-fight faggot." - Rudy

"... you toothless squat-to-piss no-fight faggot" - Rudy

"Kicked your flabby faggot ass again. Yes." - Rudy

"You a Squat-to-Piss Faggot." - Rudy

"The disgusting gurgling, slurping sounds below are just the faggots Hartung,
Sanitary Napkin and Bit of Nothingness enjoying a three-way" - Rudy

"YOU lose, Nazi faggot." - Rudy

Little Man's Disease is an untreatable epidemic in this country.

This is Rudy: https://i.imgur.com/quxiPEh.mp4

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